Press Releases


Sgt Catherine Petts: Guinevere Notes

Merry Christmas everyone, the bloody thing's gone missing!

From Major Richard Blake

I'll alert the PM. Prepared to bet she'll use it as an excuse to visit Tower Ops.

From Sgt A Frederick

Right. Llewellyn's reassured me that it's nothing to worry about. Momentary signal failure, orbital window etc. But there was a rabbit-in-big-scary-headlights look about him when he said it.

My bet is it's so much expensive space junk. As of now, am briefing the press that UNIT has no position on Guinevere One. Beyond supporting mankind's peaceful expansion into the stars. And building our own secret mission control centre, natch.

Sgt Catherine Petts: TURN ON THE TV NOW!

Have you seen what's on TV? The aliens have started up their own TV channel. Bang! On terrestrial, digital, cable, satellite, swanky mobile phones, and even behind the bloody red button.

PS: Anyone care to bet how long it is before they start flogging jewelry on it?

From Sgt A Frederick

Sgt Petts, could you perhaps take a less flippant tone? This is a major moment for mankind, and one that needs to be very sensitively handled. My phones are ringing off the hook, my staff are trying to come up with a plausible cover story, and all you can do is make jokes.

PS: A tenner that it's a week before Anthea Turner has a show on it.

From Major R Blake

The PM is in the building everyone. Be respectful, supportive, and obviously don't let her think that she owns the place.

Oh, and Merry Christmas everyone.