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PRESS STATEMENT: Unexploded WWII Bomb Warnings

Embargoed till 08:00 28/07

Recent refurbishment of the Northern and Jubilee London Underground lines has brought to light a large number of unexploded WWII artillery shells and other artefacts in the Bow, Kennington and Pimlico areas.

The public are warned that, after expert examination, a significantly large number of these shells are turning out to be active. “It’s unusual,” admitted Corporal Cameron Walker, “these shells are testing way over the average. A vastly higher percentage than normal are still active and could still cause harm. Due to the high volume of excavation at the moment, we’re turning them up in droves at the moment. These all appear to be of the same type, marked SCHLECHTER WOLF. We’re speculating that they may have been a kind of sleeper artillery, designed not to explode on impact. Either that, or they were too solidly built.”

“We’ve been hearing reports of people creeping onto construction sites to see if they can steal something. Apparently, these shells are interesting in design, and, what with ebay, the market for World War II artefacts has really exploded. We’d urge people to keep away – these shells aren’t so much special as lethal.”

FILED: Corp Alex Balfour.